old lady

May. 7th, 2013 12:21 am
opiumpoppyfields: (mushroom smile)

I think I am gonna look the same in 5 years. When I'm 40. WTF.
opiumpoppyfields: (raw food)

Raw Food Will Not Make Your Life Perfect.

Why a raw food diet won't make your life perfect, but why it's still worth doing and sticking with.
opiumpoppyfields: (mushroom smile)
Yes, I spent nearly a year (10 months) doing almost nothing. The majority of the time, I laid in bed, watching movies, playing games, reading blogs, fucking around on myspace and facebook, reading books, etc. All the while I was stuffing myself with pizza, chocolate bars (sometimes up to 5 a day), cookies, and some actual healthy food...but mostly not. Lots of processed stuff.

Of course at the time, I felt like I was wasting my life away. But I was also depressed and could not figure a way out of it. I knew I had to eat better, I knew I had to go out and get a job, be social, but I just didn't want to (I still am not keen on working, but its mainly because I would rather work for myself). It was so much easier to just stay in bed. I was lonely, absolutely deprived of any affection, and all I did was complain about it.

I knew about this law of attraction stuff, but I didn't really think it would work for me. I'd tried it. But here I was, still in bed every day, reading blogs. Mostly I read iCiNG which is a blog of a girl who I had been reading on LJ for a while. She often posted links to self-help articles and whatnot. One was a blog by a guy named Steve Pavlina, who is a very popular blogger and writes multitudes of self-help articles. So I added his blog to my Google reader because I was constantly reading self-help things to try and break out of my rut - none of it was really making any difference because I wasn't putting it into practice.

One day, this article came up, and 30 days of subsequent articles outlining his 30 day raw food trial. It was extremely interesting and really captured my attention, because of the intense detail he put into each article. The more I read, the more obsessed I became. The more obsessed I became, the more I realized that this may be the answer to my problems.

The #1 reason I felt that this was the answer to my prayers (if you can call them prayers) was that I was becoming someone I didn't recognize anymore. I was angry at everything. I had NO desire to do anything, be creative, go anywhere, and it felt like my life was a waste of time. I often felt like dying. I was constantly paranoid and full of anxiety. But the NUMBER ONE thing that made me change was...I was starting to get really fucking angry...at my dog. And when I started getting furious with a small, sweet-natured, loving, wonderful creature like Leya...I NEEDED to change myself. I didn't give a fuck about my weight anymore. I gave a fuck about my psyche.

I started to read so much about nutrition and eating and raw food that it consumed me (heh) for a while...it still does. Not much captures my attention completely for months on end. My interests wax and wane. I have a ridiculous amount of interests but they usually are replaced by something else after a little while, since I am always discovering new things. Well, it's been almost 6 months now and I'm still obsessively reading about raw food. It is endlessly interesting to me.

In order to do this, you have to WANT to do it. Before, when I just wanted to lose weight and look good, my diet changes never stuck. I still wanted sugar. I still wanted pizza. I felt deprived when I didn't have it.
The more I learned (and I learned the basics very quickly), the less I wanted this stuff. Eventually, my whole perception of these "foods" changed, and I did not want them AT ALL. Now I see things like conventional cookies and chocolate bars and they seem like poison to me. I can't believe I ever ate them.

And so this is why I have stuck to it, and will continute to stick to it.

+ Change of perception
+ Continual learning

and most of all


The weight-loss is an awesome bonus.

I feel like a different person. I never get bursts of irrational anger. Even when I found out my boss was paying the new girls more than me, I lost my temper for like 2 minutes and then went about my day calmly. I could have NEVER done that before. I never get mad at my dog. I barely get irritated at all.

The amount this has affected my life in such a short time is astounding. I can't believe my life has changed so much because of FOOD. I hiked up a fucking mountain for fucks sake. I've never done that before. I did it without complaining. My legs are sore and I keep laughing when I walk.
A couple of times I couldn't sleep because I was too happy. Hell, I want to open a raw food cafe or maybe be a coach or nutritionist or naturopath. This is something I want to make into a career.

I believe this all happened because I asked for something to change my life. I wouldn't have come across this information if I hadn't spent so much time lying around doing nothing. So, I'm glad I did.

My mantra is now:

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

Thanks Anthony Robbins, I knew you were the man.


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